High praises on this day to listener Bradley E. Herbler who contributed the big $50 to earn himself an extra special Personal Philosophy. Note that he supplied, and required that I use, this picture.
Brad E. Herbler's Personal Philosophy*
Socrates may have said that the unexamined life is not worth living, but I can say from experience that the unexamined life is fucking awesome!
Would someone introspective be spontaneous enough to just up and leave his family when things are going shitty? Hell, no! If I had to reflect upon the pain I've caused my loving wife and four small children, there's absolutely no way I would be having so much fun this Christmas! Woooo!
If I got hung up about every time my car has hit a signpost or pedestrian or whatever, I would be consumed with guilt and probably do something stupid like turn myself into the authorities, but instead I'm in flavor country, baby! I'm ridin' the high life, living each day like it was... well, whatever day! I don't really think about it! Woooo!
I'm just sittin' here making shadow puppets on the wall of Plato's cave, man, and my favorite puppet is my big middle finger, and I don't care about no eternal forms and the teleology built into them that would lead me upon reflection to see the emptiness of my shallow existence and strive to fulfill the ideals that are an necessary projection of our intrinsic being qua humanity. No, sir! Wooooo!
I'm so unexamined, I don't even know what I look like. I don't even know what day it is or where I left my pants, because I SO don't keep track of my positionality in the space and time. Woooo!
I don't even count the number of times I say "Woooo!" and ask myself what kind of monster would reduce the human language to its primal infantility as a substitution for real expression, which by necessity is grounded in an emotional coherence that I may or may not lack... I don't know because I absolutely never check! Woooo!
Look at me! Look at the bonger! Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair! Because I certainly won't be looking at them! Wooooooooooooooooooo!
*This personal philosophy should not in any way be taken to reflect the actual, current views or predilections of this person, though, given that it was crafted JUST for him or her, he or she should really feel obliged to adopt this philosophy out of politeness if not actual gratitude.