By the "fourth sitting" of Tripe, the references to previous bits come quickly and constantly enough that it's really not advisable to start at this point, but instead, like an ordinary book reader, start at the beginning.
New topics covered in this section include goat suet, the supposedly fictional holiday of San Juan de la Cruz Day (which I have just now discovered is apparently not fictional), creating new words via font variations, and a recognition of yesterday's revelation that being funny is inconsistent with a rejection of all standards of literary quality... which I guess would leave the reader with no reason to continue slogging through Mr. Wolf's drippings, but let's give him the benefit of the doubt, shall we? We shall.
Today's excerpt concerns essay technique:
I/we was/were taught in school the correct way to construct a paragraph. For instance, this kind of paragraph was taught to be correct:
Zoos are beneficial for many reasons. Firstly, they provide protection and shelter for animals. Secondly, they allow people to learn about unfamiliar species. Finally, they are good places for dates; they are especially good in suggesting sex to one's partner through the observation of animal behavior. In conclusion, zoos are beneficial for many reasons.
...While this was deemed inferior:
Zoos are beneficial for many reasons. Firstly, they provide things. I went to the zoo once, and monkeys ate my brother. It was cool, and suggested sex to my partner, who wanted to learn about the unfamiliar male species. Zoos are cool. I like them. In conclusion, zoos are beneficial for many reasons.
Now you know and I know that the latter paragraph is much better, that it says a whole hell of a lot about its author and the psychological forces shaping him, and in turn about humanity and general, especially youth, what with their sexual confusions and ambivalence about loved ones (including brothers) that all we adults are so surely free of... But still the first paragraph with its skillfully-constructed argument and its glue words always-received the better grade. What does that teach kids? Why, it teaches them to be just like you, or more precisely, you.
-Mark Linsenmayer
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