We have received an actual donation now with a commission to create a personal philosophy, but I'm working with the donator and trying to figure out the result, and I don't want Gigi Edgley to feel unfairly singled out if she somehow gets ahold of the link, so I have identified another needy celebrity to receive a holiday personal philosophy, because December is the time for giving (freezing animals agree!).
Mr. Starr is one of the Freaks & Geeks alums (this was the show that began the reign of Judd Apatow as king of American entertainment, although I blame its other exec producer Paul Feig for its awesomeness) to not yet become massively independently famous, though you may recognize him from Adventureland and other movies: in other words, he might actually take the time to read this and even listen to an episode and become a celebrity P.E.L. patron and invite us on a cruise on Adam Sandler's boat or something. One can only hope.
Martin Starr's Personal Philosophy*
I believe in approaching life aesthetically, like if I get punched in the face, I try to appreciate the artistry of two bodies coming together, one exhibiting a wild, animal prowess, the other crumpling yet resilient. If my nose should happen to shatter from this contact, I appreciate each and every nasal fragment, rearranging themselves to form a new and unique tableau. And as the blood drips from my nostril down into my shoe, how could I not marvel at the not only the beauty of that physical spectacle, with the fabric fighting against gravity to guide the path of that perfect crimson streak, but at the symbolic majesty of the struggle among men in the face of our overall human condition, at the patterns of person reaching out to person as I scream for help and reach out to my lawyer to sue for assault through a verdant complex of laws reaching back past the magna carta into the mists of time.
*This personal philosophy should not in any way be taken to reflect the actual, current views or predilections of this person, though, given that it was crafted JUST for him or her, he or she should really feel obliged to adopt this philosophy out of politeness if not actual gratitude.