Today we semi-randomly sort-of honor NPR national political correspondent Mara Liasson:
Mara Liasson’s Personal Philosophy*
I have such a to-do list for when I’m a ghost! Everything is so topsy turvy right now, what with my job and family and all, that I can’t wait to depart my mortal body and have an eternity to walk the earth, fixated on avenging my murder and/or lingering around the ones who loved me trying desperately to let them know that I’m OK and/or catching up on all that reading!
Why, when I’m dead, the first thing I’m going to do is take some “me” time to float in the ether between the worlds and just indulge myself, with ethereal massages and a total ecto-manicure/pedicure, and then after I slake my infernal bloodlust a bit by terrorizing my enemies into a state of catatonia, I’m really going to get around and see some museums! There are just so many of my ex-lovers to see performing personal sex acts — unsuspecting of the presence of the dead — that I can freak out by whispering in their ear or kicking over their television just as they’re nearing climax, and so many good movies coming out all the time to catch up on!
I would have to say my philosophy is that when someone cuts in front of you in line or is rude when you’re trying to return something to the store, or just doesn’t say “thank you” when you open the door for them, just smile, carefully note their appearance and any other identifying features, and know that as soon as your bucket-kicking time comes, the ass kicking can truly begin! 🙂
*This personal philosophy should not in any way be taken to reflect the actual, current views or predilections of this person, though, given that it was crafted JUST for him or her, he or she should really feel obliged to adopt this philosophy out of politeness if not actual gratitude.