This is for that guy... the one who's depressed. Maybe it's you.
The Personal Philosophy of That Depressed Guy*
I don't know. Maybe none of this is worth it. Maybe I should just... no, that isn't worth it either.
It's just that I'm... well... you know. It's like the world is a metaphor and I'm the bacon. Or something.
When the chemicals in your brain say "no," it's hard to say, "fuck, yeah!" When you're feelin' down and out, there's not much consolation... except...
Hey? What's that? Is that Descartes's Meditations? Well, shit! I'd forgotten all about that book! That should be good for a laugh... or so much more! Have you seen this??! Blows your fuckin' mind, man! My idea of God means there is a God? What? There are no certain indications by which we may clearly distinguish wakefulness from sleep? It may happen that in imagining a chiliagon, I confusedly represent to myself some figure, yet it is very evident that this figure is not a chiliagon since it in no way differs from that which I represent to myself when I think of a myriagon or any other many-sided figure? Fuckin' A, man! TOTAL FUCKIN' A!
I think it just may be worth the effort after all to kill myself! Thanks, philosophy! Chiliagolicious!
*This personal philosophy should not in any way be taken to reflect the actual, current views or predilections of this person, though, given that it was crafted JUST for him or her, he or she should really feel obliged to adopt this philosophy out of politeness if not actual gratitude.
Read more Personal Philosophies.
Image snatched from here by Richard Wilkinson, who has some really cool illustrations up.
Kathleen Ryan says
You talking to me again — disguising your message with “guy” instead of “gal”??
Clever! Maybe I’ll try hanging on one more day, if only for the enigma :-)))
(OOPS! But it was the enigma that got me here in the first place …)
Tom McDonald says
I recommend he get “Awaken the Sleeping Ninja Within” by business motivation professional Tony Bobbins and start thinking positive!
meh, I prefer to let sleeping Ninjas lie.
Having experienced a delightful struggle with depression for the last 20 years or so, I find this both hilarious and offensive.
What is this strnage senation in my body. Sound seems to be coming out of my mouth and my torso is twitiching. It’s either a seizure or that thing people do when something not sad happens.
Josh Davis says
Clay Boland Jr. says
Just posted a commentary on how not to get completely depressed by the state of the world. http://bit.ly/jm6pIh
Ernie Grimes says
What kind of High school did you all have. You got me feeling dum Now I’m depressed.