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The Personal Philosophy of (i.e. for) the Dude Who Posts Incoherent yet Hateful Comments on Obama’s Facebook Posts

September 23, 2011 by Mark Linsenmayer Leave a Comment

I guess I've gotten bored of most of the various 99 cent offerings on my iPhone, because my main waiting-in-line activity there of late has been opening the Obama postings in my Facebook app news stream and reading the crazy ass comments people see fit to address ostensibly directly to the leader of the free world (though of course no one thinks that O. actually reads them or even has much if anything to do with crafting the posts themselves).

Because of Facebook's crappy default privacy settings, you can even follow the links back from the more eye-catching comments to see what kind of person would bother to post such a quip... see that maybe that person does like the same music that you do, or that he or she posts misspelled exhortations to prey [sic] for your soul every 15 minutes or so all day long. ...And don't think this is just a post against Obama-bashing; many of the sterling examples of intelligence are clearly sympathetic towards him, or savaging him from the left, or just plain weird and off-topic. To all such folks, I dedicate this heartfelt Personal Philosophy. I can only hope it will inspire some of its targets to come raise the crazy level on the comments for this blog!

The Personal Philosophy of the Dude Who Posts Incoherent yet Hateful Comments on Obama's Facebook Posts*

There comes a time when one is called to speak up for one's country, to be a voice in the dark that spills light upon the unwashed masses of confusion that have forgotten what true freedom and true heroism are and don't know where to turn because they are scared sheep lowing in the darkness because they have yet to awaken from their dreamworld of darkness in which they think everything is OK but it isn't is but an illusion, because freedom means knowing you have to rise up and wake up and stop lowing and speak up!

That time for me came but this morning when our so-called President posted something or other about how to fix the economy that struck my ear so false that I knew I needed to fix this now, to counter the lies obscuring the truth that needs to be stated, and all it takes is bravery and courage and one thumb to type with. And I so issued from my spiritually charged synapses down through my inspired wrists to that thumb these words that will finally move the nation onto its proper path:

Oh blah blah lag blah blah WHAT WE NEED TO DO, COWARD, do ur job, stop making us give u confidence! Ur a hypocrite who can't make decision, UR A "I NEED MY MOMMY TYPE," MAYBE U SHOULD HAVE UR WIFE RUN THE COUNTRY SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE CAN MAKE A CHOICE AND THE SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES FOR IT.

But what would the President reply? Would he hear my plea and change the course of the nation? Would he be distracted by others' misguided responses like this one?

rAISE MINIMUM WAGES MAKE IT MANDATORY FOR SERVICE PEOPLE TO MAKE BETTER WAGES PLUS TIPS, bECAUSE THE AVERAGE PERSON IS SAVING A BUCK BY NOT TIPPING THE STANDARD % people are starving and sick and can't pay their bills, How about a bailout of the taxpaying american people, give everyone 10,000 to pay there bills ahead and put it back into the economy, before you pay for wars that are unjust and killing innocent young lives!!! Get a clue, we can't afford more empty mumbo jumbo about what we need to do for a solid future. We need some stimulous NOW!

Or would he follow the siren song of this equally serious-minded commentator?

War is nessacary...it brings peace and freedom. The final war has just started. Its not about whos country is the best...its about lets becpome 1...planet earth.....all and together.

Having accepted the challenge of our forefathers and fulfilled my civic duty to the best of my ability, all I can do now is hope that my words have touched a deep place within Our President's soul, so that he may switch parties, become a triumphant leader and thank me in his next speech!

*This personal philosophy should not in any way be taken to reflect the actual, current views or predilections of this person, though, given that it was crafted JUST for him or her, he or she should really feel obliged to adopt this philosophy out of politeness if not actual gratitude.

Read more Personal Philosophies.

-Mark Linsenmayer

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