Longtime readers may recall a flurry of so-called Personal Philosophies let loose from this site 'round the end of old '10. While every one of these was cherished and beloved and wrapped in a special extra-thick paper and put in the bottom of an ornate chest and filed under "H" for "heirloom," that does not mean that everyone liked the idea of a web site attributing something offensive or silly to them.
So I'm rebranding this to make it clear right here in the not-fine print that these screeds are not to be mistaken for the actual alleged beliefs of the recipient/target, but are rather a special gift, a free service, providing a philosophy to said individual, which does not imply that this individual is in need of this service or would be dumb enough to adopt this, or that the philosophy in question is meant to comment on his or her character, visage, or soul.
Today's entry is dedicated to Lucille Lawless, who wrote a provocative tweet about us and donated some cash.
In gratitude, I of course immediately overstepped my proper bounds to hit her up to be a guest on the show. I will accept the indefinite deferral she sent in response as better than a rejection; this was a favorite romantic coping mechanism in my younger years.
A Personal Philosophy for Lucy Lawless
I believe that we evolved to deal with small groups of individuals--extended families or tribes--and so can't really cope with the vast numbers of people out there. We can't process them as individuals, but instead feel the need to in some way reject them as a group as unimportant to us.
At the same time, we are wired for drama, for narrative, for fascination, and so readily pick up on stories of the remote and fabulous, which historically became mythologies, and then religions.
Modern communications have combined these tendencies into our current ideas of celebrity. We pick out a small number of individuals brought to us by mass communications and bring them into our social circle; these particular strangers matter while the rest of them don't. Moreover, since these celebrities are brought to us as personally inaccessible, they acquire the characteristics of myth. Celebrities are literally today's gods according to our own inborn wiring.
As an enlightened individual, I want nothing to do with this. Consequently, I deny the existence of celebrities. These stories of "Tom Hanks" and "Julia Roberts" are surely the dreams of errant madmen! "Dave Chappelle" and "Demi Moore" are surely just stratagems of the oppressor class to keep us lulled into passivity!
Don't insult me with talk of your "Suzanne Summers" and your "Regis Philbin," because I'm not buying into that crap! I will not believe in your so-called "Noah Wylie" nor your "Jackée" nor your "Anthony Michael Hall!" Surely alleged sightings of "Bruce Jenner" are merely tricks of the light, and "Soleil Moon Frye" merely an hallucination brought upon by a bad piece of beef! Away with your illusions, charlatans! I reject your false divinities in favor of the tangible, the concrete, the real, and the true...
Peter Jackson, that is. (I've sacrificed a goat to him to entreat him to cast me as the sultry voice of Smaug in the upcoming Hobbit movie.)
Read more Personal Philosophies.
-Mark Linsenmayer
dmf says
April 16, 2012 at 7:40 amindeed the gossip world is the world order
http://socrates.berkeley.edu/~hdreyfus/html/paper_kierkegaard.html
Tim says
April 16, 2012 at 8:10 amI just watched the episode of Flight of the Conchords she guested on yesterday. good stuff.
Anh-vu Doan says
April 16, 2012 at 9:43 amMan it’d be awesome to have Lucy Lawless on the PEL.
But what philosophy would you discuss with her? Oh, how about some ancient Greek philosophers!
Mark Linsenmayer says
April 16, 2012 at 12:12 pmI had suggested Nietzsche’s “Birth of Tragedy.”
N.N. says
April 16, 2012 at 10:38 amThe problem is that ‘we’ want lucie lawless alikes when they are still young and hot
Mark Linsenmayer says
April 16, 2012 at 12:21 pmSpeak for yourself. The woman’s radiance regularly causes blindness in onlookers even today.
I also appreciate when people in my age group are allowed on TV.
N.N. says
April 16, 2012 at 2:24 pmYou got me wrong. I mean, why wait till the lady has to ‘grow up’. Isn’t it also really exciting as a heady ‘philosopher’ to engage in a relationship with a woman who is not ‘grown up’ at all? 🙂
Patricia Saunders says
January 2, 2014 at 3:53 pmAu contraire, Lucy is one of the grown-uppist people around-she doesn’t take herself too seriously and could easily,Her comic timing is evident in her writing her “personal philosophy”- Although Lucy can talk the talk, she seems keenly aware of BS in many forms and shapes-while she is “queen” in NZ, she doesn’t quite fit in with the Beverly Hills, Hollywood elite-thank god.You really have to sell your soul to be part of the in-crowd and be inebriated and coked up most of the time in order to even function.. Whether or not she participates is her business-Hollywood is the only place where I’ve seen lines of coke already to be snorted in the rest rooms in Hollywood dinner parties-Jeez, we don’t even do that in New York City. So Lucy spells out her attitude to the Emperor with no clothes and the clay feet stuck in Manolos and it may not make her the most popular amongst celebs-on the other hand, her charisma and friendliness goes a long way to compensate for that. Just don’t get into a serious discussion with her, because she’ll wipe the floor with you-this is one highly intelligent , curious, clear thinker. I don’t know how she puts all these different parts of herself together, but it works in her down-to-earth manner with a ripping sense of humor.
N.N. says
April 16, 2012 at 2:25 pmI mean, why do we have to settle with only the ‘grow ups’?
David Kashfi says
April 16, 2012 at 4:23 pmI look forward to Lucy’s new acting roles with curiosity.
Joan says
April 17, 2012 at 4:58 amoh no !!! wes, i’m crushed.
Ross says
April 17, 2012 at 9:31 amYou should definitely get her on, I have the perfect discussion for you, Using the books the philosophy of … Format. The philosophy of xena, the philosophy of battlestar gallactica, the cult of celebrity, Would need a lot of prep and research on her topics of interest, what presses her buttons. Would probably involve a fair bit Nietzsche.
Wes Alwan says
April 17, 2012 at 2:04 pmSorry Joan!
Ross, those are good ideas — maybe we can sell Lucy on one of them.
Laura says
April 27, 2012 at 6:29 pmReading through these comments re “young and hot”. “grown ups”–all confusing…..I just want to say I agree with Lucy, when I grow up I want to marry one of these guys. 😉
Wes Alwan says
May 5, 2012 at 6:32 pmGood to know Laura :).
Patricia Saunders says
September 17, 2014 at 4:16 pmThe only question I have for Lucy and other truly gifted actors is what drives them to act? I mean what psychological need does acting gratify that other professions, jobs, etc do not??? Is there a moral imperative for Lucy since she talked about modern mythology and our need for it ( I agree as well as a need for “heros”)
Patty Saunders