Precognition of Ep. 87: Sartre

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1. Sartre says

   January 14, 2014 at 8:41 pm

   So, Sartre’s sitting in a coffee shop and a waitress asks what he’ll have. He replies ‘ black coffee with no cream’. She replies ‘ we haven’t any cream, only milk.’. He then retorts ‘ in that case i’ll have a black coffee with no milk’.

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2. Wayne Schroeder says

   January 15, 2014 at 12:27 am

   Why it’s funny: Because Sartre believes that an absence of something is still something. Plus, coffee with no milk tastes a lot worse than coffee with no cream.

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   • Wayne Schroeder says

     January 15, 2014 at 12:34 am

     “Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says, ‘Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it’s funny or not?’ Gödel replies, ‘We can’t know that because we’re inside the joke.’ Chomsky says, ‘Of course it’s funny. You’re just telling it wrong.’ ”

     Why it’s funny: Because Heisenberg is uncertain, Godel sees that the joke is logically incomplete, and Chomsky is an asshole (because Chomsky distinguishes between the joke itself and the linguistic performance).

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3. Wayne Schroeder says

   January 15, 2014 at 2:06 am

   Rene Descartes walked in to a bar. Barkeep asks ” Do you want a drink?”
   Descartes says “I think not,” and poof. He’s gone.
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   Did you hear about the suicidal homeopath? He took 1/50th of the recommended dose.
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   The programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.”
   What is funny: The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
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   An Irishman goes to a building site for his first day of work, and a couple of Englishmen think, “Ah, we’ll have some fun with him!” So they walk up and say, “Hey, Paddy, as you’re new here make sure you know a joist from a girder…” “Ah, sure, I knows” says Paddy, “twas Joyce wrote Ulysses and Goethe wrote Faust.”

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4. Wayne Schroeder says

   January 15, 2014 at 2:17 am

   They say a Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but you really mean your mother.
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   A philosopher says to a linguist “What if, instead of periods, women had apostrophes?” and the linguist replied “They’d be more possessive and have more frequent contractions”.
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   I hear Heisenburg and his wife are having problems; When he has the time, he doesn’t have the energy, and when he has the position, he can’t get the momentum.
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   Heisenberg was speeding down the highway. Cop pulled him over and says “Son, do you have any idea how fast you were going back there?”
   Heisenberg said, “No, but I knew where I was.”
   The cop says “You were doing 100 miles an hour” to which Heisenberg replies “Great, now I’m lost”.

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