Why does happiness so often present itself as a problem?
A tremendous amount of our cultural discourse now seems geared toward achieving happiness, realizing happiness, or consuming moments of happiness. A fully realized commerce in self-help books and medications offers to prop us up in our unending aspirations toward perpetual happiness. One would assume that life and liberty have shrunk in importance compared to the pursuit of happiness, which now appears to be not so much a state of being as the all-consuming goal of our existence.
And yet, the same industry suggests that happiness is something in short supply. Looking around, very few people actually seem to be genuinely happy or even comfortable in their existence. Where I live, in Hamilton, Ontario, it’s possible to go for days without seeing a candid smile or hearing a hearty laugh. This could be owing to the supposedly “gritty” blue collar lives many of us lead here; but at the university where I do my “blue collar” work, the professional administrators and academics look even more miserable than those of us maintaining the buildings. Centuries of wisdom literature have attested to the fact that happiness is not connected to wealth, success, or status. And certainly, the poets have taught us that love only infrequently brings fleeting moments of true happiness. While Canadians can also certainly be a reserved people, I’ve found the same behaviors in the United States, merely amplified.
By many accounts, the modern world has sunk into a slough of despond, anxiety, and unhappiness. In a much-disseminated clip from a television interview, comedian Louis C.K. memorably argues that “everything is amazing now and nobody’s happy.” Perhaps the clip resonates with so many people because it seems as if we should be happy given how technology has met so many of our needs for comfort, safety, contact, and amusement. Our lack of happiness seems like a sort of ingratitude. But beyond these lower-level needs, even those who have found deeper belonging, and esteem from their peers often give the impression of being restless, anxious, and basically unhappy.
In the clip, Louis C.K. tells the perhaps apocryphal story of an airline passenger waiting for take-off who responds with frustration at finding his free in-flight WiFi, a recent innovation, has failed. C.K. uses this as an example of how selfish and oversized our needs have become and how unable we are to cope with minor frustrations. Lacking this distraction, the man is abandoned to boredom. I suspect the joke works, however, because most of us can relate on some level. C.K. suggests the man is childish, but perhaps his frustration implies that technology was, for this man, a comforting respite from the anxieties of consciousness, which now return unmediated. Perhaps repose, and inwardness, are for many of us intense sources of unease. This might also be nothing new. Plato’s cave and the veil of Maya are earlier metaphors for the illusions by which we protect our anxious psyches.
Nor would any of this have surprised Arthur Schopenhauer, who famously sees unhappiness and suffering as things we should expect from life, which on the whole appears to be “a disappointment, nay a cheat, in other words bears the character of a great mystification or even a fraud.” No doubt Schopenhauer would have taken Louis C.K.’s optimism, his assertions that “everything is amazing now” because we can fly in airplanes and travel easily, as a sort of intellectual fraud or malpractice. The problem isn’t with the character of our existence in this time and place (what Nietzsche might call its “timeliness”) but with the nature of existence as such, which, for Schopenhauer, cannot easily be redeemed by realizing our desires.
Schopenhauer sees life as alternating between the desires evoked by Will—of which we are each a vessel, or “objectification”—and boredom. Perhaps he would have repeated the following to the flight passenger, although it probably wouldn’t have eased his thoughts:
That human existence must be a kind of error, is sufficiently clear from the observation that man is a concretion of needs and wants. Their satisfaction is hard to attain and yet affords him nothing but a painless state in which he is still abandoned to boredom. This, then, is a positive proof that, in itself, existence has no value, for boredom is just that feeling of its emptiness. –The World as Will and Representation
So, if the passenger is feeling the emptiness of existence, C.K. is either absurd to point out how much easier travel has become, or commenting obliquely on the absurdity of existence itself; we have intentionality, we do what we can to fulfill our needs, only to be then abandoned to boredom.
For Schopenhauer, desires are constant because the will to live is the center or our, and all, existence. Imagine a meal that was so delicious or an orgasm that was so satisfying it would extinguish all desire for future gratifications. Most likely you can’t. What we can hope for, according to Schopenhauer, is release from these constant desires through art, asceticism, and a virtuously aware heroic life. Here, he borrows much from Buddhism, in which the ending of suffering is described as an extinguishing of the fires of lust, ill-will, and delusion.
And yet, it seems to me that most of us have known individuals who were not martyrs, monks, or ascetics, but who were genuinely happier than Schopenhauer allows. Those exceptional individuals seem to have fulfilled the sort of self-actualization desires located at the top of Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. They glow from within by a perpetual flame that is far above the satisfaction of needs of comfort and even beyond Schopenhauer’s “heroic” life of renunciation. They carry with them a troposphere of joy.
Nietzsche, I think, gets at this sort of person in his Untimely Mediation “Schopenhauer as Educator,” ironically somewhat better than his “teacher,” when he writes that
Everyone carries within himself a productive uniqueness as the nucleus of his being, and when he becomes conscious of this uniqueness, a strange aura surrounds him, the aura of the unusual. –Untimely Meditations
Nietzsche sees this as an intolerable state for most people because the uniqueness imposes a “whole nexus of duties and obligations,” which are generally only met by individuals like Schopenhauer. And yet, Nietzsche’s “Schopenhauer” doesn’t seem to correspond to the man himself, who was frequently anything but heroic.
Yet, we know the type, even though they remain exquisitely rare. Neither Louis C.K. nor Schopenhauer seems entirely familiar with them. Their happiness doesn’t correspond to C.K.’s notion that new technologies offer wondrous means to satisfy our desires. These individuals delight primarily in their own capacity to satisfy their desires, rather than in any particular means to do so. By the same token, they delight in exercising their will regardless of the outcome. They derive deep bliss from the practices of striving and engagement, and only minor satisfaction from the moment in which a desire is realized. Schopenhauer anticipates existentialism, but he still lacks notions like “authenticity” and the “self-actualized individual” that came with later philosophers and psychologists like Maslow. His student Nietzsche perhaps understood such individuals more deeply, although he too would have agreed that the mass of people have little in common with them.
It seems, therefore, that happiness presents itself as a problem because it is so often seen as polar and relational: an escape from suffering into happiness akin to crossing from one nation into another by finding the right passport. Perhaps, instead, we should see the two as dialectical: the “happy” individual transfigures suffering through their active and solitary engagement with it. Maybe Louis C.K.’s passenger would have been better to get off the plane and start walking.
Rufus F. Hickok is a freelance writer, cook, janitor, doctor of history, part-time editor, and singer in a punk rock band. Born in Virginia, he currently resides in Canada.
I really enjoyed this piece, very thoughtful and thought provoking. I wonder if the problem is that the “pursuit of happiness,” which is supposedly our inalienable right, is now linked to consumerism and careerism, neither of which has been empirically shown to increase happiness, and in the vast majority of cases seems to undermine and threaten it. I don’t seek that particular strand of happiness (although I have in the past), because every new purchase or gold star at work only means more striving for bigger and better material gains and promotions, which then serve as a temporary balm for underlying anxieties and existential angst. Or maybe that’s just me. I disagree with Louis CK (although I love his comedy) – everything is not so great, and neither dependable in-flight wifi nor the latest iPhone is going to make it better.
Thanks so much. It’s funny- the balm of material happiness staves off our existential anxieties but creates other fairly intense anxieties- especially when the credit card bill is due!
I enjoyed this post, thank you. Here is the best portion of CK Lewis’ monologue:
“Everything is amazing right now and nobody’s happy. Like, in my lifetime the changes in the world have been incredible… Flying is the worst because people come back from flights and they tell you…a horror story…They’re like: “It was the worst day of my life. First of all, we didn’t board for twenty minutes, and then we get on the plane and they made us sit there on the runway…” Oh really, what happened next? Did you fly through the air incredibly, like a bird? Did you partake in the miracle of human flight you non-contributing zero?! You’re flying! It’s amazing! Everybody on every plane should just constantly be going: “Oh my God! Wow!” You’re flying! You’re sitting in a chair, in the sky!”
― Louis CK
I would like to recommend Kazimierz Debrowski’s work on Positive Disintegration, who in my opinion has a richer view of a hierarchy of needs over Maslow. Debrowski and Maslow were contemporaries and friends as I understand.
In Debrowski’s work, he defines an inner milieu and outer milieu and that our anxiety stems from resolving conflict between the two. So an individual may have few items in each of the categories in Maslow’s pyramid but still maintain an integrated personality. Debrowski avoids good/bad value judgements and happiness/self-actualization as a goal, but rather recognizes that we vacillate between various categories for an enriched integrated personality and it is a process of how we resolve conflict between those two milieus.
It would be interesting to contrast Debrowski’s milieus with Schopenhauer’s Will, I suspect there would be no demarcation point. Our Self is fluid and dynamic as we deal with the representations of the world.
Quite a sidetrack. In short, I think Debrowski is cooler than Maslow. Great read and thank you again.
Thank you very much. I will see if our university library has Debrowski this evening. It sounds very useful.
I have saved and come back to this article often. Allowing the suffering and finding satisfaction in process requires humility, being agreeable to welcoming discomfort.
I would venture to say that that humility is a form of going beyond your Self, and that the happiness we long for, as Victor Frankl claims, is found in a collective meaning. Whether that contribution stems from the uniqueness that Nietzche describes or a deeper humility, it places emphasis on stepping out from centralizing yourself and connecting with the macrocosm.
Thank you again for this thought provoking piece.
Dear Friends:
Lately I have realized that living in the moment is so real it seems unreal. Just as I went into surgery for my BPH using the TURP technique; (scaling down my prostrate so I can pee again like a racehorse) I told the surgeon and staff before going to sleep that I felt festive during the holiday season in 2021 and so I blurted out;
“What’s important today is your happiness and my hap-penis! Please do a good job and I’ll see you on the other side in the recovery room or heaven whichever comes first!”
I was grateful to live and tell you the tale yet none of the staff took me out to dinner after all the rectal ultrasound tests and the entering my urethra via a catheter in the bladder tests, down to its extraction by a Nigerian nurse on Boxing Day who suggested I “Think of oranges, mangoes and bananas!”, while she pulled out my 16″ catheter. I still have it as a souvenir. My son hid in another room wincing and hiding from my pain yet it was all good! I’m happy as ever just to be alive, I think, due to the advances in medical technology.